Day 24 - How to Love Yourself

When I first decided I wanted to start keeping a blog, I thought I would make it a sort of self-help site. I wanted to call it: How to Love Yourself. After all, I think that's what a great deal of our journey through life is about... Learning how to love ourself. But I could never bring myself to activate the site, and here's why...

While it's true that I have long sought happiness - consciously, intentionally, and incessantly - though I am teacher in many ways, though I do love helping people, and though I do know little tips and tricks for turning things around for myself, I do not have all the answers for everyone. Learning how to love yourself is a path every individual must go alone. Learning how to love yourself takes conscious effort, intention, and the determination to emerge on the other side, victorious. My teacher and dear friend, Angela Grace, said in a post just yesterday:

"When people are ready to heal, they will. They will find a way and be willing to walk through a brick wall if needed to get there (although this is not often necessary LOL)."

I love this because of how true it is, and most of us don't even realize it to be the case. If we wallow, if we turn inward and dissolve in self-pity, we will not grow. We must first decide for ourselves that we've had enough. That we want to be better. That we want to get better. And we must make this choice over and over again, everyday. Only then can we make the necessary changes in our lives that will get us there. The younger me often tried to force change on the people I loved when I saw that they were hurting themselves (self harm does not need to be physical). I constantly pushed people to be better... I have since learned that the best way to help people is to show them that you care, and to show them they are not alone.

When I started this blog, it was with the intention of letting people inside my day-to-day... the good, the bad, the ugly, the beautiful. I do not often share my inner world with any but those I am closest to.. the people I trust the most. This was a big step for me. But I know it was the right step to take.

I have hurt, I have healed, and I have learned that life is the constant practice of doing so. Something else will always happen. Someone else will always die. Life is about keeping strong in your forward march and continually choosing to turn your face to the sunshine.

So, without further delay, here are my Top 5 (personal) tips on How to Love Yourself:

5. Develop hobbies. Find things you love to do, and do them. This is especially important if you are experiencing depression. I've been there. I know how it feels. And I remember it was harder than pulling teeth, forcing myself to get up and out, even if it was just for a drive up a mountain or a short run. But this will make all the difference. Doing something you know you love, even if you can't remember why you love it, will remind you of what matters.

4. Reach out to family or friends. I often trick myself into thinking I can do everything alone. This is not true. Reaching out doesn't necessarily mean you have to spill the beans on your mental state, it can be something as simple as asking them to tell you something nice about yourself when you're drawing a blank. It can be asking them to do something with you, even if it's just going to the grocery store. Human contact is necessary.

3. Spend some (voluntary) time alone. The alone-time must be intentional. Use this time to evaluate your mental state. Try to find the root of your troubles. Weeds will keep sprouting if we don't pull the root.

2. Speak. Talk to someone. Talk to no one. Talk to your dog or cat or hamster. But get the words out of your head. It's like relieving the pressure on a blister.

1. Never give up, never surrender. Yes, that is a line from Galaxy Quest. Keep moving forward. Don't stop. From rock bottom, the only place to go is up. The earth keeps turning through the night to bring back the daylight every morning. Keep living your life, and you will find that life has a way of correcting itself when things tip too far in one direction or the other.

All of these actions take a certain amount of mindfulness. Also notice they are all actions. Wallowing is like holding your breath and expecting your body to keep breathing. I know it sometimes seems impossible, but the only person who can keep you going is you. So, for the love of all that persists on this blue planet, do not consent to stillnes. Immobility is the death of the soul.

#behavior #behavioralpsychology #change #connection #depression #growth #life #lifelessons #meditations #namaste #om #psychology #revelation #stagnation #transition #truth