Day 27 - On Feminism, Objectification, Seduction, and Cat-Calling

What is feminism, really?

I once thought feminism was for man-hating, ego-driven, tyrannical women who held some personal grudge against the male species. I thought that the issue of gender equality was well behind us. I thought that anyone who still pushed a feminist agenda just liked to complain and enjoyed using male behavior as a scapegoat.

In her speech at the UN, Emma Watson really nails the primary issue that feminism now faces: it's misunderstood. There are too many people wandering around the country - around the world - who think of feminism in terms of everything I have stated above. Feminism has become synonymous with man-hating, with whining, uppity women, and with unprompted female hostility. All of these notions are misconstrued.

I am a feminist. I received my first dose of feminism my senior year of high school. I remember greeting the topic with inward resistance. I considered myself a strong, independent woman who no longer needed the crutch that I believed feminism offered. But as we studied the representation of women in literature, the feminist cogs in my head started turning, and I became curious about the true nature of this prematurely archaic ideology.

As I entered college, I emphasized feminist theory in my English Literature degree. This was not initially a conscious decision. I simply found myself more and more sympathetic to the view I had once causelessly rejected, and, as my sympathy grew, so did my desire to study the subject, and study feminism I did. All that being said, I'd like to discuss what I discovered about feminism in my studies and how this is relevant to feminism today.

From a literary standpoint, feminism deals largely with self-identification. Feminism asks the question: what does it mean to be a woman? How do we define ourselves and our role in a patriarchal society? Would it be better to have a matriarchal society? Would it be better to have a society that is truly gender-equal? How does society view women? How do women view themselves in society? What has shaped these views? Is it just to embrace these views? How do we improve women's position in society?

And the questions continue, and thousands of answers are given. There is a vast and rich literature on feminism. There are books, essays, poems, short stories, novels, anecdotes, and speeches written on the topic. And the more you read, the more you realize, these answers seldom point an accusatory finger at men. In fact, I believe the reason feminism has gained a reputation for man-hating stems from the fact that feminism evolved around the attempt of women to forcibly insert themselves into a partiarchal society. Nobody (or mostly nobody) hated the men. But there was a time when men and women seemed pitted against each other in the ultimate battle of the sexes: access to the right to vote, and thereby, access to a voice, a seat at the table. Although we've come a long way since the women's suffrage movement, somehow, the idea of what feminism is was left behind.

So why am I writing this? I am offering this as a long-winded explanation of what led me to identify as a feminist. I would also like to posit this question: What does it say about our society that I still need to justify why I stand by the ideology of social and political equality - not just for females, but for all people?

Why not tell you what I think?

But I digress.

I am writing this today, because I like to read and repost articles and videos that address feminist issues on my Facebook page and on the pages of friends who are also interested in the topic. I almost never give my personal opinion on the articles or videos, partly because I'm not interested in causing a fuss, in throwing my views in the faces of others, or in offending anyone who might misunderstand my opinion... I like to post these articles and videos simply so others might view them and think about them and form their own unbiased opinion on them, and this is the main reason I refrain from offering my own views.

Sometimes other people think about these articles and videos and come up with valid rebuttals to their specific subtopic within feminism. Brilliant! This is a wonderful opportunity for us to engage in a civil discussion of what this subtopic is really getting at, the possible double-standards is raises, and how we can improve our own definition of what it means.

If you're interested, here's what I think.

So today, I'd like to offer my personal opinion on several of the topics I've posted articles on.

1. The objectification of the female body.

I posted a video to a girlfriend's wall a week or two ago. The video discussed the various ways in which the female body is used and objectified through the media. A man responded with a sarcastic response. Firstly, I'd like to say that doing so demonstrates an implicit lack of respect on the man's part. But my girlfriend responded well, and he admitted that he should have watched the video before commenting. I complimented him via text message for his response to my friend, and he brought up exactly what I had been thinking when I watched the video: double standards.

"You like Magic Mike."

That was all he said.

Yes. Yes, I do like Magic Mike. Is Magic Mike not the perfect example of how gender equality is now prevalent in our society - a movie in which attractive, muscle-bound men strip down and shake it for the enjoyment of women? Ah, but the movie is actually about Mike, our protagonist, attempting to gain enough capital to open his own custom-furniture business. Mike is still a substantial person with dreams and goals: NOT an OBJECT.

We'd have to do a full analysis of the movie for me to properly make my point, but hopefully you see what I'm getting at - the men in that movie are not objectified.

Allow me to speak for all feminists when I say, we are not saying that no progress has been made. We are not saying that all men belittle women. We are not saying that all women are constantly victims of objectification. Many women see their sexuality as a form of power. Many women enjoy dressing 'provocatively' because they can effectively command the attention they receive. Many women understand the sexualization of the female body in our culture and choose to utilize this socially-inherent objectification so it works to their advantage.

(Example: Charlie Runkle's secretary in the first two seasons of Californication. "Yes, I started it, but then there's this little thing called free will...")

Am I saying that women should take advantage of men in this way? No. Am I saying that it's okay to make flase claims of sexual harassment in order to blackmail a man into giving you what you want (again, in reference to Californication)? ABSOLUTELY NOT. I do believe that women who choose to control their sexual image, rather than allowing it to control them, should be free to do so, without judgment from man or woman, feminist or not.

It is, however, equally important that we understand that not all women feel this way about their bodies. Not all women want the attention focused on their bodies, and this, too, must be respected. Not all women who chose to own their sexuality do so with the intention of manipulating the male gaze - there are women who dress themselves for no one's pleasure but their own. I know right - who knew?

There is a clear dynamic present in how women view their bodies. The origins of this dynamic and its psychological effects on women is a topic feminism has and will definitely continue to explore. The blame for these views cannot lie solely with men, and the solution for the self-image issues these long-standing views have produced cannot lie solely with women.

Watch the video I discuss above here: On Sexual Objectification

2. The power of seduction.

I posted a TED Talk on the power of seduction a few weeks back, as a contrast to a video about street harassment I'd posted a few days prior (we'll get to this is a moment). I like this video because it offers a different perspective on cat-calling. Chen Lizra, the speaker in the video, makes the point that in many Latin cultures, particularly Cuba, there is a "dance" of seduction that takes place between men and women equally. Lizra uses the Rumba as an example to illustrate this process of seduction. The man makes an advance toward the woman. The woman dodges this advance, but invites him to make another. And the "dance" continues until the woman does or doesn't take interest or the man foregoes his advances.

At first glance, the comparison seems to indicate that the man is still the dominant party in this process of seduction, however, Lizra is careful to insist that everyone possess this inherent power of seduction. Seduction, Lizra argues, does not depend on body type or looks at all - seduction is all about self-esteem, attitude, and how you use it. In Lizra's view, women are able to utilize their own femininity as a tool to manipulate the male just as effectively as he is able to strive for her attention and affection.

There are many different ways I could critique this video, but what I want to acknowledge is the role attitude plays in our perceptions of behaviors like cat-calling, which Lizra mentions in her talk, and which I will address under the next subtopic.

Watch this Ted Talk here: On The Power of Seduction

3. More on the objectification of the female body: Street Harassment.

Street Harassment is a thing. It is a thing that happens all the time, all over the world, everyday. Of course I have experienced this. I have received cat-calls while walking down the street. A car full of college boys once yelled "SLUT" at me through the window as they drove by (I was riding back to my dorm on my longboard wearing jean shorts and a flannel). I have had my ass grabbed by strangers. I have been followed by men while walking home at night. THESE THINGS HAPPEN, AND I BET YOU WILL NOT FIND A SINGLE WOMAN WHO HAS NOT EXPERIENCED AT LEAST ONE OF THESE FORMS OF HARASSMENT. Street Harassment has the power to make women feel threatened.

That being said, there is a difference between cat-calling on the street and overt forms of sexual harassment. There have now been several videos made of the treatment women receive while walking down the street. There have been countless rebuttals by men and women that do everything from victim-blame the women based on the way they were dressed to argue that the women should accept the "compliments".

In her talk, Lizra notes that cat-calling in Cuba is viewed as flirtation, and the women playfully reject the men - all of this is part of the seduction "rumba". While there are obvious cultural differences between the U.S. and Cuba, I can't help but wonder, who's right?

Watch the above-mentioned video on cat-calling here: On Street Harassment

Does it matter?

I have always been a friendly person, and, when I was younger - in fact, still to this day - when anyone, man or women, compliments me on the street, I've always given a polite "thank you," a smile, and continued on my way. I almost always receive a "you're welcome, have a nice day" back or a "thank you" for returning a response. Nobody follows me. Nobody insults me. I don't feel threatened.

I know my perspective is not universal. Not everyone welcomes compliments from strangers, regardless of the context in which they were given, the intent in which they were given, the aggressiveness with which they were given, and so on. There is also the question of what compliments and cat-calls on the street suggest about the objectification of women, which becomes most evident when women ignore cat-calls and men retaliate.

Without going into the details of this argument (which you can read here: Why Street Harassment is Bad), I'd like to note that, while cat-calling may stem from good-intentions, saying that a woman is ungracious for being unwilling to accept unsolicited attention is indicative of the larger problem we face. Harassing a woman who doesn't accept a compliment, whether it be in person or online, suggests that women must not only accept their own status as a sex-symbol, they must embrace it.

As I mentioned before, some women are very openly accepting of their sexual powers. Some women utilize their sexuality as a form of personal power. Some women see cat-calling as complimentary - part of this game of seduction we all play. And some women are simply not interested in receiving unsolicited attention. Any and all of these positions, in my opinion, are perfectly acceptable and valid. And, in my opinion, condemning one or another of these positions, clustering women into a single category "to-be-looked-at" or "not-to-be-looked-at", is counter-productive. It either denies women the ability to feel they are in control of their own sexuality or it denies women the ability to feel safe in expressing their desire to not be viewed as just a body.

In this issue, like in most everything in life, there is no black-and-white right and wrong answer. If a man on the street tells me I have a beautiful smile, I am not and have never felt insulted or objectified. I am just as likely to compliment a man on his smile. But ignoring the women who ask to be spared this attention and ask not to be judged for not wanting it, is unacceptable. THAT is what I believe is at the heart of the issue. Not whether or not cat-calling itself is unacceptable. Not whether or not cat-calling objectifies women. If you want to compliment a woman on the streets and she doesn't want to respond to you, the true respect comes from an individual's willingness to respect the woman who chooses to ignore you.

I am a feminist. These are issues feminism faces. I am not saying that men are always in the wrong. I am saying that all people have varying opinions and desires. True equality is respecting the opinions and desires of the individual. Doing so is not a mission solely for men or women, black or white, American or Cuban or French or whathaveyou. Respect is a mission for all people, every person, everywhere. That's all we all truly want.

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