Day 3 - On Depression

Robin Williams has been a hilarious part of my life for as long as I can remember. He's had me rolling on the floor laughing since I was a child. His humor is flawless and good natured, but his talent as an actor and active observer of the world is equally unparallelled. So, this post is both a tribute to the man whose death I truly grieve, despite my never knowing him, and an opportunity for me to voice my opinion on depression.

I once tried to explain depression to someone who had never felt it before. It was almost impossible to articulate the cold emptiness of day-to-day life when living in such a mental state - the way it seemed that everything I did was pointless; that I was dragging myself through waist-deep cement, just to keep moving through the day. I told him that it felt like I was trapped under a thick layer of ice; and I could see my 'normal' self on the other side, remember my ''normal' thoughts and feelings and joys... But no matter how hard I beat my fists against the cold, glassy surface, the ice simply would not break. But I have always been a resilient person. And when I feel like this, I've learned to - as Dori would say - just keep swimming, because if I keep swimming long enough, I can always find a hole in the ice, and I can squeeze my way back to reality.

But sometimes, when it gets really bad, it feels like I'm trapped under concrete. It's all darkness, and I can't see where I'm going. I can't see, can't remember who I was. Here, too, I have learned to keep blindly feeling my way forward, through the darkness, because when I finally reemerge into the light, it's like being reborn into the world with new eyes.

When I am under concrete, my family is all that keeps me going. I am so grateful to have people to live for. Loving them has kept me alive. I believe that, sometimes, we find ourselves in such mental states, and we have no idea how we got there. All I do is strive to keep moving into joy, and, sometimes, I still find myself there. It happens, and I believe that it happens to everyone at some point - and in that case, none of us are ever alone. So if ever you feel you need someone to talk to, please email me, call me, reach out in some way! Because finding your way through the darkness is infinitely easier when you have a soft hand to hold, a hand pulling you forward into the light.

#depression #robinwilliam #psychology #writing #prose