Meditations from [off] the Mat...

Reflections from a Peace Corps Thailand Education Volunteer.

[All views expressed in this blog are exclusively my own and do not reflect the views of the United States Government or the Peace Corps as an organization in any way.]

September 2, 2019

Sunday, August 25th, 2019

I think an unintended, unconscious consequence of never feeling like I fit in anywhere was, perhaps, the freedom to evolve however I wanted. I’ve never had any idea of who I’m “supposed” to be, so I’ve tried on dozens of identities. I’ve kept b...

March 26, 2019

"Are you happy?" he asks. And I don't know what to say.
I am an anxious wreck of emotion,

and I am tranquil within it all:

The eye of the storm

watching the pain and fear and joy and

excitement and panic and worry and sorrow and

hope and loss and resentment and anger and 


October 31, 2018

For most of my life, I have based my identity around the things I do. Using my actions as the foundation for my self-definition has allowed me to build a complex idea of who I am as a person - or at least there was a time it all seemed very complex. I was - and am - an...

June 5, 2018

It comes. Like a guest I'd forgotten I was expecting. My hands are scrubbing homemade tomato sauce from a beaten old aluminum pot when the angst rolls over me. My hands keep scrubbing.

I watch myself as if from a window, my soul thrashing, smashing dishes, screaming int...

April 27, 2018

I went for a leisurely bike ride this morning. I have to admit, I honestly can't remember the last time I did this is my community, which is strange, because I went biking for fun nearly every day when I first arrived here. 

I took the same path I first ventured down,...

March 13, 2018

A few weeks back, another PCV said something to me that's stuck with me, popping into my head at least a couple times each day: Peace Corps Volunteers have grit.

She chuckled as she observed that volunteers who want to throw in the towel often stay out of pure stubbor...

March 9, 2018

It's the last day of school... kind of. Something different here in Thailand is the school timeline. Classes have ended. The students are currently taking their last final. But all of the students will be back next week to help the teachers clean the school before it c...

January 12, 2018

Today, for the first time since I arrived in Thailand, I don't want to be here. I have to admit, it's a disappointing way to start the New Year. I also have to admit, I expected these feelings to follow the departure of my friends and my return to my site after our tri...

December 15, 2017

I am constantly relearning precisely how much I don't know. I came here with grandiose ideas of what it would mean to live abroad, immerse myself in a culture vastly different from my own, to do a job I'd never done before. I was in love with the idea of Peace Corps se...

September 28, 2017

By now, I'm sure people are sick of hearing and reading about my mom's death. I would like to preface this by acknowledging that losing a loved one is something that will effect you for every moment that follows your last moment together, for the rest of your life. It...

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© Natalie Garro 2020

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