Things I didn’t expect when I signed up for the Peace Corps:
I didn’t expect to become so close to so many people so quickly. I guess when you’re thrown into a totally unpredictable situation together, you can’t help but learn to trust, rely on, and help one another. I didn’t expect to talk about poop so much. Seriously. Jet lag alone is notorious for causing intestinal distress… add 68 Americans to a country with a lot of new, strange, and SPICY food, and you have a recipe for a lot of casual discussion about bowel movements. So, yeah… the conversation can be pretty shitty.
I didn’t expect to move into my home stay and share a room with my two younger sisters. I expected – but still wasn’t quite prepared for – the squat toilets, rinsing my various leavings down the drain by pouring water into the basin (no flush), “wiping” with a bum-gun (figure that out for yourself... hint, think squirt gun + hose), bucket showers, washing my underwear in the bathroom sink every evening, or hanging my underwear in the yard to dry (just to the left of the chicken coops).
I wasn’t prepared for constant companionship. I’ll definitely admit, I’m still a bit nervous about this. My Thai family spends a LOT of time together. As I mentioned before, I share a small room with my two sisters. We are five in our family – my host mother, father, two sisters, and me. There are four rooms in our house – two bedrooms, a living area/ kitchen, and a shared bathroom. Our home is quaint, with a beautiful blue tile floor that serves as the couch and the dining room table. (It is Thai custom to sit on the floor.) We have a fridge that is mostly empty, as most of our food comes from the yard (so many vegetables!) and my mee (mom) cooks every meal fresh. We have 20+ chickens and 20+ ducks, five dogs (including 2 puppies that can’t be more than a few weeks old), a very snuggly cat, roosters that crow all through the day and night, and even a few toads.
I’ve always considered myself someone who was pretty adaptable – not particularly susceptible to culture shock – but, man, the culture shock was real last night. I was nervous to meet my host family, I was exhausted from dragging my suitcases and bicycle onto the Song-Tao (bus), and I was very confused – particularly about how to use the toilet. I also pronounce a lot of my Thai words incorrectly… which I’m hoping will improve with time?
I shared a bed with my host sister last night, which I definitely was not expecting (it's Thai custom to join a guest on their first night in your house so they don't feel lonely). And I wasn’t expecting to eat SO MUCH, SO OFTEN. From what I can tell thus far, the Thai people certainly love to EAT. (And the food is one thing I have NOT needed to adjust to. My host mother is a WONDERFUL cook. YUM!)
But as awkward as I’ve often felt as I’ve entered my host family’s home, there is something more I was not expecting… It’s a strange thing, to come into a stranger’s home and share a bed. What’s stranger to me is the extraordinary selflessness of my host family, who have immediately made me feel at home, who are not shy about helping me learn Thai customs, and who are willing to sleep beside a stranger from another country.
Tonight, I came home from a 9-hour workday, and I played with my younger host sister for several hours. We rode bikes, kicked around a soccer ball, played tag, held some new-born chicks, played with the dogs, looked at pictures, walked around our Ban (House) as she taught me the names for various objects, and ate dinner together while watching a Thai Soap Opera that might be my new favorite TV show. (It’s very funny to me, the coexistence of such a simple lifestyle and wifi.)
Let me say for the record that the adjustment is not easy. Last night, for the first time, I wondered to myself, “Dear God, what have I gotten myself into?” I found myself doubting my ability to adapt, to learn, to succeed. Today I marveled at the enormity of the task I have chosen to undertake. Today, I was afraid. I had thoughts of failure. I couldn’t imagine adjusting to a life without toilet paper. Everything seemed enormous, impossible, scary… and then my noong-sao (little sister) and mee (mom) picked me up from school. We played, and attempted to communicate yet again… and everything felt okay. More than okay.
I’m starting to think I must be crazy, thinking I’m qualified for the work I’m about to do… but I guess that’s the point isn’t it? There’s no amount of anything that will prepare you for this. I am grateful for my Aa-jaans, who are so supportive of us, for my program managers, who are teaching us diligence, for my co-volunteers, whose home stay stories made me laugh and who’ve showed me the humor in my own stories, and for my host family, for treating me like family.
I don’t know what’s going to happen over the next few months. All I know is, I’m learning about different ways of living, and I’m taking everyday as it comes. I’m adapting and adjusting and learning to throw all of my expectations out the window. And as I settle down next to my noong-sao (little duck follows me everywhere), for the night, I am happy. And I’m a bit less afraid. And maybe I’ll be able to do this after all. I guess I’ll have to wait and see.