Stupid Things and how to appreciate them.

This year, I have decided that several things I always thought were totally sane are totally stupid.

First off, expecting yourself to have your sh*t together right out of college, because you think the world expects you to have your sh*t together right out of college, is totally stupid. I've been joking with my dad that it only took me graduating from undergrad (where I studied what I loved because I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life), participating in a business start-up internship (which I LOATHED), taking a four-month sabbatical to reconnect with myself and the world, building a new life in my old town, running away to Europe, and getting rejected from the Peace Corps program I applied to for me to finally figure out what I want to do with my life. I'm 24, and I am lucky to figure out what I want to do with my life at such a young age... But now - if I don't pass my test in October - I have to go back to school to study something completely different. I'm just lucky my education in undergrad will transfer so well to my new area of study. Anyway, my point is, I am six years out of high school, and I have only now figured out what I want to be "when I grow up." And, quite frankly, some of the coolest, most interesting people I know still live at home - just like me. They work in coffee shops, they wait tables, and they are patiently working towards building something bigger for themselves.

There is no shame in starting over when you realize what you're doing isn't for you... or when you finally find your passion. We are quick to judge ourselves when we feel that we are progressing much slower than those around us, but the moon needs time to become full. If we really want something, we have to put in the leg work to get it. This means starting from the - less than glamorous - bottom and working our way towards what we want. So if you're feeling frustrated in your epic search for purpose, keep going. Ben Franklin didn't pout his way to building the first (working) lightbulb.

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Secondly, other people are stupid. No, this doesn't mean that we should give up on humanity and disappear into the mountains (althought this is an EXCELLENT temporary solution to the problem of other people). I mean, other people make stupid decisions - i.e. mistakes - engage in stupid behavior, and often have stupid reasons for doing so. Other peoples' stupidity does not validate your own. You owe it to yourself to learn from both your mistakes and the mistakes of others.

If another person does something that harms us emotionally, we have to understand that - more often than not - that behavior is coming from a wound that person carries. An injured animal lashes out. Happiness is a continual practice of forgiveness of what was, acceptance of what is, and hope for what will be. We must forgive each other - and ourselves - over and over again for our continual stupidity. We must remember that we are all just bumping around in the dark, searching for a switch to turn on the light. Sometimes we're going to bump into each other.

So if you are the victim of another person's stupidity, you owe it to yourself to stop acting like it's the first time someone's hurt you - and to stop acting like you've never hurt anyone else. It is beautiful to meet another's pain with compassion - especially when that pain is directed towards you. This is not easy, but it is a practice that will make you a better person. It is a practice that will probably help them become a better person, as well. So yes, people are stupid. And you are responsible for making sure you are not one of the countless stupid people wandering around our planet.