Day 16 - On Love

Today, I watched my big brother get married. Today, my dad - my adoptive father - and I went to the wedding of my biological brother with my entire biological family, and we sat together as family, and I was surrounded by love.

What an absolutely extraordinary life I've been given. How blessed am I to have two families full of incredible individuals, who love each other, who smile and laugh together, and who are the most supportive people I have ever known.

What did I do to deserve the life I am blessed with? What did I do to experience the kind of love in my 23 years that, I am sure, many don't get to experience in a lifetime?

When my mom decided on an open adoption, 23 years ago, she gave me the most selfless gift anyone could give. A knowledge of where I come from. Connection to and love for the people I share blood with. She gave us each other. She gave us years of love. She gave them to me, they gave me to her, and that - THAT - is selfless love. The kind of love that people write about. The kind of love that moves mountains. Unconventional and strange and perfectly imperfect and whole. And that's what it's all about, is it not?

Today, as I watched my big brother take his vows, a single white flower petal floated down onto my lap. I looked up, I looked around, and there was nowhere it could have fallen from, and the breeze was light and unlikely to carry it. As I watched my brother and his wife pledge themselves to each other in love, I felt my mom beside me, and everything I've lost was with me, in that moment. Like everything I've ever lost, come back to me.

And I'm writing this because my heart is smiling, and my eyes sting a little with the tears I've held onto, and life is mysterious and full of wonder and synchronicities. I'm writing this because I sometimes forget how blessed I am. Sometimes things get dark, but my life is full of light. Because we like to complain when life is hard, but we forget to give thanks when life is beautiful. And I don't think there's a thank-you in the world that could ever express the debt of gratitude I have for my biological mother, Lisa, my mom, Sharon, and my dad, George, for everything they've given me.

#love