Day 11 - On Stagnation

I am a restless soul. I am a spirit in need of movement and change and stimulation. I have been laid-up, recovering from surgery for the last 5 days now, and I can feel the discomfort of stillness deep within my bones.

My body, mind, and spirit ache for the soft breeze blowing through the pine trees, high up on a trail, where few feet have trodden. I burn with a fire that only a frigid mountain stream can soothe. In my mind's eye, I can see the first signs of fall - green leaves fade to bright yellow. The crisp scent of drying leaves on the air. And I simply cannot wait to be back in the mountains, where I belong. But I must be still. I am restless.

And what is life without these periods of stagnation? Forced stints of stillness to makes us appreciate the movement of the world? If I could spend every day in nature, would I remember how beautiful it is? Or would my eyes adjust, help me forget how I love it so?

But even as my longing grows, I feel the joy seeping from my heart, a disconnect from the natural world in the form of pain killers, ice packs, and four sturdy walls. I am not made for a life inside. I am a child of the natural world. And being away from it, even out of necessity, even for this relatively small amount of time, is ice inside my soul.

And still, I am dreaming of the day when I wake up, healed enough to step onto a trail and run, bringing vibrancy back into my life - the vibrancy of a lion, released from her cage, onto a plain, lush with fresh water and gazelles. Carpets and doorways are a prison my wayward soul cannot endure.

#stagnation #writing #nature